In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Seeking and Choosing a Marriage Partner

بِسۡمِ اللهِ الرَّحۡمٰنِ الرَّحِيۡمِ

Seeking a Marriage Partner Online

The traditional way of finding a marriage partner within the Muslim family is rapidly disappearing in the mere space of one generation. Many young Muslims are using paid-for marriage services, speed dating and more recently WhatsApp matrimonial groups, some of these are free others are run by so-called match makers for a fee.

Although the intention of many of those who set up such services and platforms is primarily to make money there are many who manage these platforms for free, giving up their valuable time, with the intention of wanting to do something good. However, the mere intention to do good is not enough, in order to attain the reward of Allāh () it is necessary that the methodology used is also correct. It is important that while trying to correct one problem in a community one does not end up creating an even bigger one.

These platforms, such as matrimonial sites, speed dating events and WhatsApp matrimonial groups are likely to run into problems from an Islāmic perspective. Many single Muslims unwittingly join a WhatsApp group or a matrimonial site and then are surprised when they receive unwanted and undesirable messages or proposals. WhatsApp matrimonial groups, which seems to be the latest craze, take only minutes to set up. However, more often than not, the Admin of such WhasApp groups have not given sufficient thought as to the operational structure of the setup and the likely potential problems and drawbacks. The fact that a WhatsApp matrimonial group is not just another WhatsApp group is often not appreciated by those who set up such groups. One major problem with WhatsApp matrimonial groups is that since the profiles are “stacked” members posting profiles have to keep posting the same profile, again and again, to try to keep their profile near the top of the stack. Not only does this take up time of the poster but it also wastes each group member’s time who end up having to read the same profiles again and again, as it not possible to do a targeted search on all the profiles posted. Another by product of the lack of an adequate search facility is that multiple WhatsApp matrimonial groups are created with slightly different criteria, effectively search criteria one may use in a typical database.

WhatsApp groups albeit very convenient, unfortunately, provide little or no anonymity and protection to its members, since the mobile numbers of the group members cannot be hidden, nor are there any measures that can be taken by the Admin to control what is posted and how the members may interact with each other behind the scenes. These limitations mean that such platforms provide opportunies where the principles of Sharīʿa can be easily violated. In Islām the end does not justify the means.

Allāh () has chosen Islām as our Deen. Throughout history Muslims have enjoyed times of great splendour and times of decadence, yet our Deen has never been compromised, and the promises of Allāh () have always remained in tact and will always remain in tact. Whatever has been ordained to be halāl in our Deen can be achieved through halāl means. The Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©) helps families to fulfill the Sunnah of the Prophet () in a halāl manner. Everything that has been ordained by Allāh () must necessarily have a halāl route to achieving it. It is important that the first step we take in finding a marriage partner is in the right direction. So, the Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©) is Sharīʿa compliant, it has been developed in consultation with Islāmic scholars, who have examined the operational structure and approved it to be Sharīʿa compliant.

Key features of Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©):

  • Sharīʿa compliant structure (Approved by scholars)
  • Highly selective database
  • Highly detailed profiles
  • Completely confidential
  • Advanced search (over 12 search criteria when fully operational)
  • Protection (contact details hidden)
  • SSL Certificate
  • Data Protection Act registered
  • A Premium service for Free

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Choosing a Marriage Partner

Choosing a marriage partner, a soul mate for life, for yourself or for your son/ daughter, is undoubtedly one of the most important decisions you will make in your life time. So it is important that you spend some time and effort in this endeavour. The Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©) on this website is set up to help you in this important process. The procedure involved is detailed with various safeguards to protect your anonymity and dignity, and as a result, it does take time to register a profile. If your desire is to register a profile in 5 minutes or so, then Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©) is not for you. Seeking a marriage partner is a serious matter which requires some serious attention and time. 

The first step in trying to find the right marriage partner, is to have the right intention, your reason for wanting to get married. There are many reasons for wanting to get married, these include the desire to have children, the desire to lead a righteous life, to avoid falling into the harām, to avoid being lonely, to fulfill the Sunnah of the Prophet Muḥammad  ().

Depending on what your reasons are for wanting to get married your criteria for choosing a marriage partner will vary. The Qur'ān enjoins Muslims to choose a marriage partner who is good and pure (tayyib).

وَالطَّيِّبٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِيۡنَ وَالطَّيِّبُوۡنَ لِلطَّيِّبٰتِ

"Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity "(Qur'ān 24:26)

The Prophet Muḥammad  () recommended that Muslims choose a marriage partner who is best in religion (Deen) and character, the one with a high level of piety (taqwa).

 تنكح المرأة لأربع‏:‏ لمالها، ولحسبها، ولجمالها، ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك‏"‏ ‏‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏

"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion. So marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper". (Bukhari and Muslim)

The Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©) profile details the religious beliefs and practices of each registered candidate because for Muslims, marriage is often a religious act, and hence it is important to know in advance the religious beliefs and practices of a would-be spouse. Under the banner of Islām people have a wide range of beliefs and practices. For instance, there are some groups, which do not consider the Prophet Muḥammad () to be the last Prophet and other groups which do not observe the five daily obligatory prayers (salawāt), nor Ramaḍān and Ḥajj, some have worship ceremonies which involve wine, music, and dancing. So it is important to clarify the beliefs of the prospective marriage partner at an early stage. 

Islām has given freedom of choice to those who wish to get married. The mutual choice of the would-be-spouses should be given a high priority but marriage in Islām should not just be seen merely as the bringing together of two individuals but the bringing together of two families. So the Muslim Matrimony for Professionals (FIW-MMP©) recognises this issue and the registrant is required to enter certain details about the parents and siblings as well as details of the prospective candidate. This includes details of the parents' language and profession, as the interaction between the two sets of parents-in-law as well as the interaction between the married couple and parents-in-law is an important ingredient for a happy and successful marriage.

لَا تَعۡضُلُوۡهُنَّ اَنۡ يَّنۡكِحۡنَ اَزۡوَاجَهُنَّ اِذَا تَرَاضَوۡا بَيۡنَهُمۡ بِالۡمَعۡرُوۡفِ
".....do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner" (Qur'ān 2:232)

At some stage in the procedure of seeking a marriage partner it is permissible for the would-be spouses to look at each other under the supervision of their prospective parents/ guardians.  The Prophet Muḥammad ()  said "When one of you seeks a woman in marriage, and then if he is able to have a look at whom he wishes to marry, let him do so," (Sunan Abi Dawud), but the Prophet () also warned us that "No man has the right to be in the privacy with a woman who is not lawful for him. Satan is their third party unless there is a mahram". (Ahmad)

Although, we must do our best in whatever we undertake to do, always remember to make dua and offer salat-ul-istikhara during the whole process of finding your future husband or wife. Remember human beings are not perfect so trying to fulfill all the requirements on your wish list may not be possible, so do your best but put your trust in Allāh (), marriages are made in heaven. 

When you have chosen a would-be spouse it is important to consider having a marriage contract which is Sharīʿa compliant. This makes each party aware of his/ her rights and obligations and also protects each partner if things do not go well. A Muslim marriage contract (pre-nuptial agreement) can be created on this website free of any cost.

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Story of Hadrat ʿUmar ibn Khaṭṭāb () choosing a wife for his son ʿAsim

Hadrat ʿUmar ibn Khaṭṭāb () when he was khalifa had ordered that nobody should adulterate milk by mixing water into it. Once, while patrolling about at night to inquire into the condition of people, he heard a woman asking her daughter to mix water into the milk before the day-break. The girl refused by reminding her mother of the order given by the Khalifa."Mother, I cannot," answered the girl, "for ʿUmar has prohibited all such acts of deception."

The mother retorted, "And how would ʿUmar come to know what you are doing at this hour?’

"ʿUmar may not be watching over us," replied the young maiden, "but where can we hide from the Lord of ʿUmar?"

When hadrat ʿUmar () overheard this conversation, he was so impressed with the young lady's piety that he immediately told his assistant to make a careful note of the house.

Later that morning, ʿUmar ibn Khaṭṭāb (), summoned his servant and asked him to find out the details of the girl whom he had overheard and whether or not she was married. He returned with news that the girl was single and that mother and daughter were poor members of the Banu Hilal tribe.

Hearing this, ʿUmar ibn Khaṭṭāb (), summoned his son ʿAsim, and said to him, "Son, accept my advice, I have come to know of a girl whose piety and God-consciousness have touched me. Let me propose for her hand in marriage on your behalf; I have hope that, insha'Allāh, a pious child will be born from her who will raise the flag of Islām."

ʿAsim accepted his father's advice and agreed to him sending a proposal on his behalf. Hadrat ʿUmar () invited both mother and daughter to his residence. The girl’s character did not disappoint.

Hadrat ʿUmar () addressed her; "I know of your pious qualities. I would consider it an honour if you would accept my son's marriage proposal and become his wife."

The girl with the consent of her mother accepted and married ʿAsim. From this union a daughter was born, who was to become the mother of the great ʿUmar Ibn ʿAbdul-Aziz, who, for his justice and selflessness, came to be known as the second ʿUmar.

 

The Importance of Getting Married

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